Hooters

I informed the waitress at Hooters that I would like to order my winges naked with extra hot sauce. Upon receiving those naked wings I found out they we cold! I turn to my husband and said "My winds are cold!" He replied with " maybe they 're cold because they don't have a sweater on!"

Chinese food

I told my husband that he needed to close the cable box on the side of house before it rains because the house might catch on fire and burn down with the cat inside and then the cat would just be Chinese food.

3rd Wheel

I draged my husband to the movies to see Breaking Dawn. While watching the previews he turns to me and says "I wouldn't mind being a third wheel to that!" I look at him totally confused. All I'm thinking about is Breaking Dawn and right now we are just watching a preview for Friends with Benefits, staring Mila Kunis, Justin Timberlake, and Woody Harrelson. I turn to him and say "what the hell are you talking about? He informs me that he's really funny and he thinks that Justin Timberlake & Woody Harrelson and himself would be a great together.

Princess Chicken Bedtime Story

One night I asked my husband to tell me a bedtime story and it went like this...
Once upon at time, there lived a Princess Chicken who was banned to her family tower. She grew up from a small little chic to a beautiful young chicken with full feathers.
After many years of being cooped up in the tower, she decided it was time to spread her wings and fly away. So she jumped up to the window ledge and shook her feathers and prepared to leave the tower forever. "Goodbye Tower, I'm leaving forever" she said as she prepared for her new journey. She spread her wings and began counting "one, two three.." she jumped from the window, and then she died.... because chickens can't fly!
Good night, I love you!

Strange Minds Think Alike

Last night while watching the stupid tv, a commercial came on. I know, I was shocked too but who pays attention to commercials? I wasn’t, but then announcer said “when you have FUN and AWESOME, you get FWESOME!” I whipped my head around to look at my husband in disbelieve. With a look of disdain on his face, he said “Are you thinking what I’m thinking? They stole our word and we should sue!”  And yes, that was what I was thinking… they stole our word, Fwesome!

Only a quarter stupid!

We went to visit my girlfriend at work. She's a bartender and it was Mother's Day so the place was pretty dead. But we were drinking beer and having a wonderful time. Derek goes to the jukebox to play some music. After about 15 minutes I turn to him and tell him that he has great taste in music and that I must have taught him well. He replies "I'm not completely stupid as you seem to think I am!" To which I reply "I don't think your completely stupid; only a quarter stupid!"

Today was funny, yet!

We got up early for work and found out that we had a flat tire, so there really wasn't anything funny about that. BUT it's almost five and I sure something funny will happen!!